"Living at risk is jumping off the cliff
and building your wings on the way down."

- Ray Bradbury

Sunday, April 23, 2006
i admit sumtimes i wondered if any1 else misses nj canoeing the way i miss it. n i'm so glad to noe 2day that the answer is a firm "YES!!!" (i'm sorry if ppl get bored reading abt my posts on nj canoeing, but dis is MY blog. dun read it if u dun wan to cos i'm sure u wldnt appreciate wad i'm blogging abt cos u probably nv got passionate enuf abt anything the way i'm passionate abt nj canoeing. bleahs)

-sigh- reading my jnr's blog entry posted q some time ago made me sad again. the way he spoke of nj reaffirming his belief in the notion of a team, "after it has all but ended, I felt a tinge of sadness lingering inside me, a mixture of joy and regret", "I wish I can forever be in nj canoeing", n things lyk dat.. it's almost as if he was speaking the words from my heart cos dat's exactly how i feel too!

i sure being part of the nj canoeing team has changed n influenced each n every one of us in one way or another, n i must say dat mr yong played a huge part in doing dat. the way he leads the team, the amount of time he dedicates to the team, the sacrifices he makes,.. i really cannot think of any1 else who cld fit into his shoes if he ever really leaves the team. to me, mr yong is q indispensible to the team. who else will b able to instil DAT MUCH discipline in the team? whether or not others agree with me, dat's another issue. bleahs mayb we were disciplined cos we were afraid of him, but who can deny he commmands our respect as a coach, as a teacher, as the team manager? personally, i really look up to him n he's probably the closest any1 can get to to becoming a sort of 'idol' in my eyes.

the times we trained hard together, getting scolded (sumtimes for no apparent reason) by mr yong, shouting n rowing hard in the dragonboat, running round n round the track, playing ball games in the morning, row our hearts out in kallang.. i really wish i cld re-live those moments again. but altho dat's not possible, i noe dat i'v taken away from those times, veryvery precious memories dat i hold v dear.

i based my ob knowledge-sharing on my experience in nj canoeing, n the things i learnt from mr yong. i wanted to do the knowledge-sharing on the topic of motivation n leadership not bcos it was easy to relate to, but also bcos i wanted ppl to noe how much it meant to me to have once been a canoeist from njc. nj may b a boring place to study to some ppl, but to me, my canoeing days have let me learnt so much, n realised so many things dat it is one of the v few chapters of my life dat i wld choose not to amend or erase. (i wld GLADLY erase all my memories from nygh) if i hadnt gone to nj, i wldnt have joined the team n wldnt have found sth dat i'm so passionate abt dat even after almost 2yrs, i still constantly find myself reminiscing abt my time with my teammates. i wanted my frens to noe how proud i am to b an nj canoeist.

i really hope dat all the snrs b4 me, all my teammates, all my jnrs, and all those who have yet to b part of dis v wonderful team will always n 4ever b proud to b nj canoeists.

heart and soul. go the distance!

Saturday, April 22, 2006

i hav 1 more last paper to go on the 26th n guess how much i studied 2day.. i din study at all. *grins* it was such a nicenicenice day, i wish it din hav to end.. -wistful-

went out with mummy in the morn, cut my hair, den met up with my bao bei :P my hair is short n spunky now, almost lyk a boy. haha but i think it luks q nice. bleahs. went sembawang park for a little bbq. haha it rained when we got there n the wind was so strong dat 1 part of my umbrella broke n the whole thing got blown inverted. kept laughing cos it was really q hilarious, but my poor umbrella is fine now except for a broken spoke :p

the small bbq set was q cui3 cos at 1st only 1 part of the charcoal pile wld burn but after dat it was alright lah. haha the beef slices were too "chilli-fied" but the chicken was surprisingly nice. i still dun understand how he can put the whole chicken drumlet or the middle part of the chicken wing into his mouth n when he spits it out, it's clean! i tried but the whole thing cant fit into my mouth lor. haha oh n the marshmellows!!! bbq marshmellows r the best.. even if they were roasted on chicken bones. hahahahaha :D but i'v to admit dat it sped things up lah. if not, with only 1 fork, it'd hav taken a hundred years to finish roasting the whole packet of marshmellows.

wanted to sit on the swings b4 we leave but there was a bunch of sec sch kids having class bbq or sth den they hogged the swings. got tired of waiting for them to get off the swings so we just left. went to walk arnd in sun plaza for a while b4 heading home. i lyk to take the bus with him cos he will always hug me, den say "bao4 wo3" or "muack wo3", den when i say i dowan, he'd grudgingly say "bu4 hao3 de4 lor ni3". silly little boy.. haha *hugs*

went to bpp's pet shop while waiting for his bus to come. i'm scared of dogs but there's dis really sweet-looking puppy there dat's the size of a little kitten. it's really damn cute. too bad the shop only has 1 kitten but it was slping, so nth much to c. the hamsters n rabbits also v ke ai.. his bus came q soon after we left the shop so it's time to say byebye le :(

it was a really nice day.. think it's the best date i ever had cos it's not the usual movie-watching date or walking arnd shopping centres kind of date. haha it really made my day. nevermind dat i din study. haha wadeva happened 2day was definitely worth the time spent. he seems to love me so much n so unconditionally dat it makes me wan to love him so much more. it's true dat in every relationship there'll b ups n downs, n i'm just v glad dat things were able to change arnd n shoot all the way in the "up scale" n dat the down part is over (at least for the time being).

arghs my mouse is starting to die. v hard to right-click on things cos must click v hard. gotta get a new one soon. okay! time to go slp. gotta mug hard tmr to make up for not studying 2day.. think bao bei will come n pei wo so it's alright! will make studying for IT more bearable :P nitey~*

Thursday, April 20, 2006

haiz.. i just realised dat i'v not been blogging lyk i used to. my last few posts r lyk v short n detached. sigh.. when things r going well, i dun blog abt them. when things go wrong, i dun feel lyk talking abt them. haiz

anw i popped by some of my frens' blogs just now to c how they'r doing n i'm glad to read dat every1 seems to b doing well. sumtimes it's just nice to noe dat the ppl u noe r happy cos it makes u feel happier in a way too :) read sth in sum1's blog dat kinda made me wish i did the same thing as she did. i must say i'm q impressed by her cos it was sth i din expect. q a big leap to take i guess. mayb dat's y i din get abt doing it tho i did consider it b4. mayb sumtimes we shd just live for the moment.

still having exams now but alr 3 down, 2 more left to go. ab107 paper tmr, started studying for it ages ago so now alr kinda 4got most of it. but it's open-book lah, so it shdnt b too much of a problem. more worried abt the stupid IT exam. really hate IT can.. stupid quizzes dat r damn unfair, even yuan dong dunno the correct answers to the mcqs. the sch shd just scrap the IT course lah. bleahs. it's my last paper summore. but nvm lah, even if i screw it up, i'd b off to play n wun really go think abt how much it sucked.

cinematic pleasure's exam was alrite, 2 essays in 2hrs, not a problem to complete. wldnt say i'm v pleased with my essays, but basically i still think they'r alright lah. ab105, open-book too. wasnt as bad as i expected tho i din really have much time to flip thru the textbook n notes to find the stuff i was looking for. still okay tho.. based my answers mostly on wad i cld remember fro my revision. ab106 went better than i tot too cos i tot i'v 4gotten my econs stuff but everything came back to me when i nided it. yup, i wld say dat so far, these 3 papers have gone q well.

had q a nice little short chat with tingguan abt love. haha q farny actually.. n zihao smsed me 2day asking to meet up so he cld pass me the present he got me when he went india for training. i must try to find sth for him for his bday dis yr. feel damn bad not to give him anything tho i'v been receiving stuff from him esp on my bday every yr for my past consecutive.. 4 bdays? woah.. time really flies.

dat reminds me.. i looked thru some photos taken during my days in nj n it really made me miss those times. tho 2yrs is really short, i really hafta say dat it was the best 2yrs of my academic life. i wasnt close with my class, but looking at the class photo brought a smile to my face. (oh!!! Dio looks lyk a bike instructor in bbdc! haha the instructor is really farny.) but anw, i also looked thru the photos taken with my teammates.. haiz thinking abt those times when we train hard tog, eat tog, compete tog, really made me v sad cos i noe those times r really over n can only b part of the wonderful memories dat we share. really miss them n miss the training we went thru. tho some ppl think canoeing training is v tough n blah, i think it made all of us stronger in many ways n helped us to bond tog the way we did.

haiz thinking abt it makes me sad. i miss ppl lyk sofia, peiying, derwin, benjamin, huiying, lay pheng,.. haiz okays i better go back to mugging for the biz law paper tmr afternoon alr. weepsss..

hurt, numb, dread, unhappy, disgust, tears, sad, indifferent, nonchalant, hostile, deceit, doubt, suspicions, disbelieve, distrust,....

misunderstanding? i really hope so..

pls dun let me down. *sigh*

Sunday, April 16, 2006

nth to blog in particular.. just wan to say dat i'm happy! yay~

i hate exams tho.. mugmugmugmugmug whole day muggingmuggingmugging.

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11.jan.86
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nj canoeist

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